Difference between revisions of "List of Qwerpline Characters"

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This page lists minor recurring characters that have appeared on the podcast [[Qwerpline]]. For major characters and studio staff, see [http://wiki.loadingreadyrun.com/index.php?title=Qwerpline#Characters|Qwerpline Characters].
+
This page lists characters that have appeared on the podcast [[Qwerpline]].  
  
−
=Recurring Characters=
+
== QWRP FM Staff ==
−
*[[:File:Lorna1.png|Lorna Schlitzwhistle]] is a local "expert" on pseudoscience and the supernatural. She keeps bees at her home in West Sump Acres and is very concerned about the effects of the "weefees" (wifi internet). She sells dreamcatchers on Etsy.
+
<gallery heights=200px mode="packed">
 +
File:G-Money1.png|Big G-Money
 +
File:Alex1.png|A-Train
 +
File:Derek1.png|Derek
 +
File:EdithSlump1.png|Edith Slump
 +
File:Richter_Hammockslam1.png|Richter Hammockslam
 +
File:Sadie1.png|Sadie Caspersen
 +
File:Chet_Buntsman1.png|Chet Buntsman
 +
File:Muriel.png|Muriel, the Old Wife
 +
</gallery>
 +
=== Current ===
 +
==== Graham ("Big G-Money") ====
 +
{{main|Big G-Money}}
 +
'''Voiced by''': [[Graham Stark|Graham]]<br/>
 +
Co-host of Qwerpline.
  
−
*[[:File:BallHinkley1.png|Ball Hinkley]] is a local business owner and author. He sells organic perfumes made from locally sourced items from around his home in East Sump Acres.
+
==== Alex ("A-Train") ====
 +
{{main|A-Train}}
 +
'''Voiced by''': [[Alex Steacy|Alex]]<br/>
 +
Co-host of Qwerpline and current Aldersm'n of [[Therpston County]].
  
−
*[[:File:RaphaelCrinklestouf.png|Raphael Crinklestouf]] is a local inventor and advocate for alternative fuels. He has used fermentation of human and other waste products to run an engine.
+
==== Derek ====
 +
{{main|Derek the Intern}}
 +
'''Voiced by''': [[Brendan "Beej" Dery|Beej]]<br/>
 +
19-year-old intern who is frequently sent out for on-location work.
  
−
*[[:File:Granton Bumper1.png|Granton Bumper]], owner of Bumper Crop Farms and its ill-fated Corn Maze. Entered a large radish approximately 1 foot wide at the Harvest Festival competition. Grew the Bumper Crop Farm Corn Maze for Halloween, which led to the disappearances of 21 people. Later found religion and built a 20-foot "Jesus Cristo" out of corn husks, which was accidentally destroyed by [[Derek the Intern|Derek]].
+
==== Edith Slump ====
 +
{{main|Edith Slump}}
 +
'''Voiced by''': [[Kathleen De Vere|Kathleen]]<br/>
 +
QWRP's monotonous Arts Correspondent, local author, and self-described freelance gadabout.
  
−
*[[:File:JamCrone1.png|Woman from the Old Country]], a local merchant who moved from the Old Country (unspecified, but hers), who crafts jams, aspics, and (presumably) other foodstuffs, out of questionable ingredients.
+
==== Richter Hammockslam ====
 +
{{main|Richter Hammockslam}}
 +
'''Voiced by''': [[Ian Horner|Ian]]<br/>
 +
QWRP's helicopter Traffic "Reporter."
  
−
*Ralph, secret Pipesman and member of the Nsburg Geological Society. Appears to be the spokesperson for the Pipesmen, or at least the most polite member.
+
==== Sadie Caspersen ====
 +
{{main|Sadie Caspersen}}
 +
'''Voiced by''': Kathleen<br/>
 +
QWRP's Meteorologist. Mostly forecasts divine vengeance.
  
−
*Richard Therpston III, Pipesman and scion of the late Richard Therpston. Believes the rule of the county is his birthright.
+
==== Michael O'Leary ====
 +
'''Voiced by''': Beej<br/>
 +
QWRP's third Sports Reporter, now Business Reporter. After the Property Lottery, now lives in the station closet.
  
−
*Darren von Spront, a local (possibly self-proclaimed) tech ''wunderkind''. He engaged in a patent dispute with Raphael Crinklestouf, and discovered a new (and extremely radioactive) element.
+
==== Montgomery Kone ====
 +
'''Voiced by''': Beej<br/>
 +
QWRP's fourth Sports Reporter.
  
−
*Kendra Tiltington, Director of Waste Management for Nsburg. She would really, ''really'' like it if people stopped dropping off non-recyclable things at the Nsburg Recycling Center.
+
==== Gus ====
 +
QWRP Station Engineer & Security(?). Mostly expresses his opinions via the sound board. Related to [[List of Qwerpline Characters#Lorna Schlitzwhistle|Lorna Schlitzwhistle]]
  
−
*Sandra Brentmore, President of the Nsburg Historical Rum Tunnel Society. Has a chronic case of laryngitis and/or allergies.
+
==== Jeff ====
 +
QWRP Station Accountant. Has to deal with Derek charging random items to the station.
  
 +
==== Joan ====
 +
QWRP Station Manager. Communicates entirely through the red light in the studio.
  
−
=Minor Characters=
+
==== Lorna Schlitzwhistle ====
 +
''Voiced by Kathleen''<br/>
 +
A local "expert" on pseudoscience and the supernatural. She keeps bees at her home in West Sump Acres and is very concerned about the effects of the "weefees" (WiFi). She sells dreamcatchers on Etsy. As of [[Qwerpline Ep44 - Welcome to the Team|Episode 44]], QWRP Health reporter.
  
−
*Richard Therpston, founder of Therpston County and Therpston County Aldersm'n. Deceased.
+
=== Former ===
 +
==== Chet Buntsman ====
 +
{{main|Chet Buntsman}}
 +
'''Voiced by''': Ian<br/>
 +
QWRP's first Sports Reporter. Former coach of the Nsburg High Talcum Puffs girl's field hockey team.
  
−
*[[:File:HappyGunderson.png|Happy Gunderson]], owner of a "spite house" in the middle of Highway 3. Frequently harassed by the Pipesmen.
+
==== Clementine "Clem" Alberts ====
 +
'''Voiced by''': Kathleen<br/>
 +
QWRP's second Sports Reporter. Would like to be called "Clementine," please.
  
−
*[[:File:OfficerSteve1.png|Officer Steve]] of the Nsburg PD. Investigated the disappearance and reappearance of the pot holes from Highway 3 to the Shaughnessy. Runs the Nsburg Crimestallers tip hotline.
+
==== Muriel, the Old Wife ====
 +
{{main|Muriel, the Old Wife}}
 +
'''Voiced by''': Kathleen<br/>
 +
Lived in the QWRP FM studio and answered questions for Graham and Alex. Moved out when she got a 4-bedroom home in Raster Heights the 19-way swap Edith arranged after the Property Lottery.
  
−
*[[:File:CoachMcFeels .png|Dr. Melissa McFeels]], coach of the Nsburg High Talcum Puffs girl's field hockey team. Always gives 110%.
+
== Recurring Characters ==
 +
<gallery heights=200px mode="packed">
 +
File:BallHinkley1.png|Ball Hinkley
 +
File:Granton Bumper1.png|Granton Bumper
 +
File:HappyGunderson.png|Happy Gunderson
 +
File:Lorna1.png|Lorna Schlitzwhistle
 +
File:CoachMcFeels .png|Dr. Melissa McFeels
 +
File:OfficerSteve1.png|Officer Steve
 +
File:JamCrone1.png|Woman from the Old Country
 +
</gallery>
  
−
*[[Muriel, the Old Wife]] - Lived in the QWRP FM studio and answered questions for Graham and Alex. Moved out when she won a 4-bedroom home in Raster Heights in the Property Lottery.
+
==== Ball Hinkley ====
 +
''Voiced by Beej''<br/>
 +
A local business owner and author. He sells organic perfumes made from locally sourced items from around his home in East Sump Acres.
  
−
*Joan - QWRP station manager. Referenced, although never heard from.
+
==== Beatrice Landstraad ====
 +
''Voiced by Kathleen''<br/>
 +
Raster Heights Academy Student Council President, Sideball Team Booster Club Vice-President, Manga Club Teasurer, and President of the Radio Broadcast Club.
  
−
*Jeff - QWRP station accountant. Referenced, but never appears. Has to deal with Derek charging random items to the station.
+
==== Bertha Burpwinter ====
 +
''Voiced by Alex''<br/>
 +
Knows about Nsberg's Historic Cellars. 3 interviews with her have been ''attempted''. Arrested and put to trial in the Burpwinter trial.
  
−
*Captain John Gordon - Sole member of the Nsburg Volunteer Coast Guard.
+
==== Carly Plunnk ====
 +
''Voiced by Kathleen''<br/>
 +
Heiress to the Baskerville Sans Mystery Mansion. Is converting it into a 5-star Hotel, Day Spa and Escape Room.
  
−
*Barbara Dooley - She's a birder.
+
==== Darren von Spront ====
 +
''Voiced by Ian''<br/>
 +
Local (possibly self-proclaimed) tech ''wunderkind''. He engaged in a patent dispute with Raphael Crinklestouf, and discovered a new (and extremely radioactive) element.
  
−
*Horatio Toot-Toot - Ran Captain Toot-Toot's Seafood Buffet and, briefly, the QWRP FM broadcast studio. Eventually made enough money to buy a boat and return to the sea whence he came.
+
==== False Dmitri the IX, aka Kaylee ====
 +
''Voiced by Kathleen''<br/>
 +
Day manager at the Weiner Czar. Went on a date with Derek.
  
−
*Michael O'Leary (no relation) - Founder of a sanctuary from animals.
+
==== Granton Bumper ====
 +
''Voiced by Ian''<br/>
 +
Owner of Bumper Crop Farms and its ill-fated Corn Maze. Entered a large radish approximately 1 foot wide at the Harvest Festival competition. Grew the Bumper Crop Farm Corn Maze for Halloween, which led to the disappearances of 21 people. Later found religion and built a 20-foot "Jesus Cristo" out of corn husks, which was accidentally destroyed by [[Derek the Intern|Derek]].
  
−
*Dr. Slavoj Dinkwither - Member of the University of Chuffield's Extremophile Research Institute. Visited Nsburg to study nsberries. Would like you to mail him your poop.
+
==== Happy Gunderson ====
 +
''Voiced by Ian''<br/>
 +
Owner of a "spite house" in the middle of Highway 3. Frequently harassed by the Pipesmen.
  
−
*Justice Zeff - He's just happy to be in a room with this much love.
+
==== Kendra Tiltington ====
 +
''Voiced by Kathleen''<br/>
 +
Director of Waste Management for Nsburg. She would really, ''really'' like it if people stopped dropping off non-recyclable things at the Nsburg Recycling Center.
  
−
*Melody Yum - Breakout star sideball player on the Literal Tigers. Was on fire last year, but she's out of the burn ward and ready to play.
+
==== Dr. Melissa McFeels ====
 +
''Voiced by Kathleen''<br/>
 +
Coach of the Nsburg High Talcum Puffs girl's field hockey team. Always gives 110%.
  
−
*Orville & Wilbur Ronk - Brothers and inventors. Looking to build a solar-powered wind farm in Nsburg, but haven't yet secured the funding.
+
==== Ralph ====
 +
''Voiced by Ian''<br/>
 +
Secret Pipesman and member of the Nsburg Geological Society. Appears to be the spokesperson for the Pipesmen, or at least the most polite member.
  
−
*Dale "The Chuzzler" Chuzzle - Professional rally-car driver and local celebrity. Competed at Dakar and Le Mans, although he lost.
+
==== Raphael Crinklestouf ====
 +
''Voiced by Beej''<br/>
 +
A local inventor and advocate for alternative fuels. He has used fermentation of human and other waste products to run an engine.
  
−
*Lance Glint - Student council president at Nsburg High.
+
==== Richard Therpston ====
 +
''Voiced by Alex''<br/>
 +
Founder of Therpston County and Therpston County Aldersm'n. Deceased.
 +
 
 +
==== Richard Therpston III ====
 +
''Voiced by Alex''<br/>
 +
Pipesman and scion of the late Richard Therpston. Believes the rule of the county is his birthright.
 +
 
 +
==== Rosemary Saltsmith ====
 +
''Voiced by Kathleen''<br/>
 +
Nsburg History Museum Curator. Pays top dollar for back issues of Rugs.
 +
 
 +
==== Sandra Brentmoore ====
 +
''Voiced by Kathleen''<br/>
 +
President of the Nsburg Historical Rum Tunnel Society. Has a chronic case of laryngitis and/or allergies.
 +
 
 +
==== Officer Steve ====
 +
''Voiced by Ian''<br/>
 +
Officer for the Nsburg PD. Investigated the disappearance and reappearance of the pot holes from Highway 3 to the Shaughnessy. Runs the Nsburg Crimestallers tip hotline. Not Copper T. Junction, Second Brazier of the Nsburg Secret Pipesmen.
 +
 
 +
==== Tiffin Plunnk ====
 +
''Voiced by Alex(?)''<br/>
 +
Husband of [[List of Qwerpline Characters#Carly Plunnk|Carly Plunnk]]. Has a thick Cockney accent.
 +
 
 +
==== Woman from the Old Country ====
 +
''Voiced by Kathleen''<br/>
 +
A local merchant who moved from the Old Country (unspecified, but hers), who crafts jams, aspics, and (presumably) other foodstuffs, out of questionable ingredients.
 +
 
 +
== Appeared Once ==
 +
[[Image:JusticeZeff.png|150px|thumb|right|Justice Zeph]]
 +
{{anchor|Bailiff}}'''Bailiff''' (''Voiced by Graham'')<br/>Bailiff in the Burpwinter trial.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Barbara Dooley}}'''Barbara Dooley''' (''Voiced by Kathleen'')<br/>She's a birder.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Cecily Parker-Waffle}}'''Honourable Judge Cecily Parker-Waffle''' (''Voiced by Kathleen'')<br/>Judge in the Burpwinter trial.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Ditko Guttenberg}}'''Mr. Ditko Guttenberg''' (''Voiced by Ian'')<br/>Night Mayor of [[Chuffield]].
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Fred}}'''Fred''' (''Voiced by Ian'')<br/>Founder of the Nsburg Primal Scream Therapy Men's Choir.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Greg Ficcke}}'''Greg Ficcke''' (''Voiced by Graham'')<br>Stay-at-Home Dad. Lego Enthusiast.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|James Jonathan}}'''James Jonathan''' (''Voiced by Ian'')<br/>Leader of the Civil Wars Pre-enactors Society. Battlefield name: Lieutenant Dekota Paint.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|James Tumbletrubb}}'''James Tumbletrubb''' (''Voiced by Ian'')<br/>Captain of the Gymtastics, Nsburgs Rhythmic Gymnastics team.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Jessica Alverez}}'''Jessica Alverez''' (''Voiced by Kathleen'')<br/>Head Trainer of Electro-Fit.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Joy}}'''Joy''' (''Voiced by Kathleen'')<br/>7-year-old child accidentally semi-adopted by [[Richter Hammockslam|Richter]]. Has her full helicopter licence.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Juicy Toothbrush}}'''Juicy Toothbrush''' (''Voiced by Ian'')<br/>Artist. Created the first mural following [[List of Qwerpline Characters#Richard Therpston III|Richard Therpston III]] removal from office. It is awful.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Justice Zeph}}'''Justice Zeph''' (''Voiced by Graham'')<br/>He's just happy to be in a room with this much love. Organizer of Malt Whitman Sloppy Slam Series Poetry and Pub Crawl.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Kenneth Lancer}}'''Kenneth Lancer''' (''Voiced by Ian'')<br/>Political Scientist from [[Chuffield#University|Chuffield University]].
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Klaus D'Abrucio}}'''Klaus D'Abrucio''' (''Voiced by Graham?'')<br/>Boardgame designer.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Korb Fortress}}'''Korb Fortress Esq.''' (''Voiced by Ian'')<br/>Lawyer for the prosecution in the Burpwinter trial.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Lance Glint}}'''Lance Glint''' (''Voiced by Ian'')<br/>Student council president at Nsburg High.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Marion}}'''Marion''' (''Voiced by Ian'')<br>Member of Deep Salad.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Mephistophiles Klimpt}}'''Mephistophiles Klimpt''' (''Voiced by Ian'')<br> Owner and Operator of Terra Nova Customs. Despite his infernal sounding name, is completely nonthreatening.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Michael O'Leary (no relation)}}'''Michael O'Leary (no relation)''' (''Voiced by Ian'')<br/>Founder of a sanctuary from animals.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Mr. Peterson}}'''Mr. Peterson'''(''Voiced by Ian'')<br/>Nsburg High Janitor.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Orville & Wilbur Ronk}}'''Orville & Wilbur Ronk''' (''Voiced by Beej & Ian'')<br/>Brothers and inventors. Looking to build a solar-powered wind farm in Nsburg, but haven't yet secured the funding.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Scott Jackson}}'''Scott Jackson''' (''Voiced by Graham'')<br/>Furniture designer and avid fly-fisher.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Slavoj Dinkwither}}'''Dr. Slavoj Dinkwither''' (''Voiced by Graham'')<br/>Member of the University of Chuffield's Extremophile Research Institute. Visited Nsburg to study nsberries. Would like you to mail him your poop.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Stacey}}'''Stacey''' (''Voiced by Kathleen'')<br/>Yucatan Stan's Mountain Man Slam Can Sensory Overload Hype Van Representative.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Tom}}'''Tom''' (''Voiced by Kathleen'')<br>Member of Deep Salad.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Zach Forrester}}'''Pastor Zach Forrester''' (''Voiced by Beej'')<br>Pastor of Nsburg Hexacostal Church.
 +
 
 +
== Other Referenced Names ==
 +
{{anchor|BD Joe}}'''BD Joe''' - Taxi Union Representative.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Cheryl Bernut-Poultice}}'''Cheryl Bernut-Poultice''' - Lesser Miami poet. Author of  ''Ode to Several Raccoons I Found Lodged in my Car's Radiator One Autumn Morning'' and ''Two Dead Swans Rotting, Occasionally Turning and then Sinking into a Stagnant Pool''.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Dale Chuzzle}}'''Dale "The Chuzzler" Chuzzle''' - Professional rally-car driver and local celebrity. Competed at Dakar and Le Mans, although he lost.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Dolly Lamarr}}'''Dolly Lamarr''' - Nsburg Blacksmith.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Frank}}'''Frank''' - The Frankalid meteor shower is only visible from his roof.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Horatio Toot-Toot}}'''Horatio Toot-Toot''' - Ran Captain Toot-Toot's Seafood Buffet and, briefly, the QWRP FM broadcast studio. Eventually made enough money to buy a boat and return to the sea whence he came.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|John Gordon}}'''Captain John Gordon''' - Sole member of the Nsburg Volunteer Coast Guard.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Joseppi}}'''Joseppi''' - QWRP Janitor.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Kelsie}}'''Kelsie''' - Had coffee with Derek before his interview with Richard Therpston, may now be dating him.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Kenneth Dalton-Spinelli}}'''Kenneth Dalton-Spinelli''' - Part owner of The Libertine Submarine Limousine.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Lenny Caspersen}}'''Lenny Caspersen''' - Sadie Casperson's husband. Doesn't like the food anywhere they go on holiday.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Lisa}}'''Lisa''' - Works at the Nsburg History Museum.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Melody Yum}}'''Melody Yum''' - Breakout star sideball player on the Literal Tigers. Was on fire last year, but she's out of the burn ward and ready to play.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Mirtho the Clown}}'''Mirtho the Clown''' - A clown that promises to take you to smileville.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Rocko Dalton-Spinelli}}'''Rocko Dalton-Spinelli''' - Part owner of The Libertine Submarine Limousine.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Silus}}'''Silus''' - Works at Nsburg Towne Hall. Created the Belgian Tickler.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Steve}}'''Steve''' - Writer for the Nsburg Sentinel. ''(Not to be confused with Officer Steve)''
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Mayor Scratchy Boots Angry Hiss}}'''Mayor Scratchy Boots Angry Hiss''' - Mayor of Nsburg from 1974 to 1976 - three Shufflecats (Raccoons) in a box.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Mayor Steno Paper Clips}}'''Mayor Steno Paper Clips''' - Current/Former (depending on episode) Mayor of Nsburg - a box of paper clips. Has been mayor for over 9 years after the previous major died.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Mexico Rogers}}'''Mexico Rogers''' - Chief of the Nsburg Homeopathic Animal Control Society.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Samantha Caspersen}}'''Samantha Caspersen''' - Sadie and Lenny Caspersen's daughter. Student at [[Jewelsburg#University|University of Jewelsburg]] and Finnish black metal fan.
 +
 
 +
{{anchor|Tasmin Funt}}'''Tasmin Funt''' - (Former) Nsburg city planner.
 +
 
 +
[[Category:Qwerpline]]

Latest revision as of 10:50, 16 April 2024

This page lists characters that have appeared on the podcast Qwerpline.

QWRP FM Staff

  • Big G-Money

  • A-Train

  • Derek

  • Edith Slump

  • Richter Hammockslam

  • Sadie Caspersen

  • Chet Buntsman

  • Muriel, the Old Wife

Current

Graham ("Big G-Money")

Main article: Big G-Money
Voiced by: Graham
Co-host of Qwerpline.

Alex ("A-Train")

Main article: A-Train
Voiced by: Alex
Co-host of Qwerpline and current Aldersm'n of Therpston County.

Derek

Main article: Derek the Intern
Voiced by: Beej
19-year-old intern who is frequently sent out for on-location work.

Edith Slump

Main article: Edith Slump
Voiced by: Kathleen
QWRP's monotonous Arts Correspondent, local author, and self-described freelance gadabout.

Richter Hammockslam

Main article: Richter Hammockslam
Voiced by: Ian
QWRP's helicopter Traffic "Reporter."

Sadie Caspersen

Main article: Sadie Caspersen
Voiced by: Kathleen
QWRP's Meteorologist. Mostly forecasts divine vengeance.

Michael O'Leary

Voiced by: Beej
QWRP's third Sports Reporter, now Business Reporter. After the Property Lottery, now lives in the station closet.

Montgomery Kone

Voiced by: Beej
QWRP's fourth Sports Reporter.

Gus

QWRP Station Engineer & Security(?). Mostly expresses his opinions via the sound board. Related to Lorna Schlitzwhistle

Jeff

QWRP Station Accountant. Has to deal with Derek charging random items to the station.

Joan

QWRP Station Manager. Communicates entirely through the red light in the studio.

Lorna Schlitzwhistle

Voiced by Kathleen
A local "expert" on pseudoscience and the supernatural. She keeps bees at her home in West Sump Acres and is very concerned about the effects of the "weefees" (WiFi). She sells dreamcatchers on Etsy. As of Episode 44, QWRP Health reporter.

Former

Chet Buntsman

Main article: Chet Buntsman
Voiced by: Ian
QWRP's first Sports Reporter. Former coach of the Nsburg High Talcum Puffs girl's field hockey team.

Clementine "Clem" Alberts

Voiced by: Kathleen
QWRP's second Sports Reporter. Would like to be called "Clementine," please.

Muriel, the Old Wife

Main article: Muriel, the Old Wife
Voiced by: Kathleen
Lived in the QWRP FM studio and answered questions for Graham and Alex. Moved out when she got a 4-bedroom home in Raster Heights the 19-way swap Edith arranged after the Property Lottery.

Recurring Characters

  • Ball Hinkley

  • Granton Bumper

  • Happy Gunderson

  • Lorna Schlitzwhistle

  • Dr. Melissa McFeels

  • Officer Steve

  • Woman from the Old Country

Ball Hinkley

Voiced by Beej
A local business owner and author. He sells organic perfumes made from locally sourced items from around his home in East Sump Acres.

Beatrice Landstraad

Voiced by Kathleen
Raster Heights Academy Student Council President, Sideball Team Booster Club Vice-President, Manga Club Teasurer, and President of the Radio Broadcast Club.

Bertha Burpwinter

Voiced by Alex
Knows about Nsberg's Historic Cellars. 3 interviews with her have been attempted. Arrested and put to trial in the Burpwinter trial.

Carly Plunnk

Voiced by Kathleen
Heiress to the Baskerville Sans Mystery Mansion. Is converting it into a 5-star Hotel, Day Spa and Escape Room.

Darren von Spront

Voiced by Ian
Local (possibly self-proclaimed) tech wunderkind. He engaged in a patent dispute with Raphael Crinklestouf, and discovered a new (and extremely radioactive) element.

False Dmitri the IX, aka Kaylee

Voiced by Kathleen
Day manager at the Weiner Czar. Went on a date with Derek.

Granton Bumper

Voiced by Ian
Owner of Bumper Crop Farms and its ill-fated Corn Maze. Entered a large radish approximately 1 foot wide at the Harvest Festival competition. Grew the Bumper Crop Farm Corn Maze for Halloween, which led to the disappearances of 21 people. Later found religion and built a 20-foot "Jesus Cristo" out of corn husks, which was accidentally destroyed by Derek.

Happy Gunderson

Voiced by Ian
Owner of a "spite house" in the middle of Highway 3. Frequently harassed by the Pipesmen.

Kendra Tiltington

Voiced by Kathleen
Director of Waste Management for Nsburg. She would really, really like it if people stopped dropping off non-recyclable things at the Nsburg Recycling Center.

Dr. Melissa McFeels

Voiced by Kathleen
Coach of the Nsburg High Talcum Puffs girl's field hockey team. Always gives 110%.

Ralph

Voiced by Ian
Secret Pipesman and member of the Nsburg Geological Society. Appears to be the spokesperson for the Pipesmen, or at least the most polite member.

Raphael Crinklestouf

Voiced by Beej
A local inventor and advocate for alternative fuels. He has used fermentation of human and other waste products to run an engine.

Richard Therpston

Voiced by Alex
Founder of Therpston County and Therpston County Aldersm'n. Deceased.

Richard Therpston III

Voiced by Alex
Pipesman and scion of the late Richard Therpston. Believes the rule of the county is his birthright.

Rosemary Saltsmith

Voiced by Kathleen
Nsburg History Museum Curator. Pays top dollar for back issues of Rugs.

Sandra Brentmoore

Voiced by Kathleen
President of the Nsburg Historical Rum Tunnel Society. Has a chronic case of laryngitis and/or allergies.

Officer Steve

Voiced by Ian
Officer for the Nsburg PD. Investigated the disappearance and reappearance of the pot holes from Highway 3 to the Shaughnessy. Runs the Nsburg Crimestallers tip hotline. Not Copper T. Junction, Second Brazier of the Nsburg Secret Pipesmen.

Tiffin Plunnk

Voiced by Alex(?)
Husband of Carly Plunnk. Has a thick Cockney accent.

Woman from the Old Country

Voiced by Kathleen
A local merchant who moved from the Old Country (unspecified, but hers), who crafts jams, aspics, and (presumably) other foodstuffs, out of questionable ingredients.

Appeared Once

Justice Zeph

Bailiff (Voiced by Graham)
Bailiff in the Burpwinter trial.

Barbara Dooley (Voiced by Kathleen)
She's a birder.

Honourable Judge Cecily Parker-Waffle (Voiced by Kathleen)
Judge in the Burpwinter trial.

Mr. Ditko Guttenberg (Voiced by Ian)
Night Mayor of Chuffield.

Fred (Voiced by Ian)
Founder of the Nsburg Primal Scream Therapy Men's Choir.

Greg Ficcke (Voiced by Graham)
Stay-at-Home Dad. Lego Enthusiast.

James Jonathan (Voiced by Ian)
Leader of the Civil Wars Pre-enactors Society. Battlefield name: Lieutenant Dekota Paint.

James Tumbletrubb (Voiced by Ian)
Captain of the Gymtastics, Nsburgs Rhythmic Gymnastics team.

Jessica Alverez (Voiced by Kathleen)
Head Trainer of Electro-Fit.

Joy (Voiced by Kathleen)
7-year-old child accidentally semi-adopted by Richter. Has her full helicopter licence.

Juicy Toothbrush (Voiced by Ian)
Artist. Created the first mural following Richard Therpston III removal from office. It is awful.

Justice Zeph (Voiced by Graham)
He's just happy to be in a room with this much love. Organizer of Malt Whitman Sloppy Slam Series Poetry and Pub Crawl.

Kenneth Lancer (Voiced by Ian)
Political Scientist from Chuffield University.

Klaus D'Abrucio (Voiced by Graham?)
Boardgame designer.

Korb Fortress Esq. (Voiced by Ian)
Lawyer for the prosecution in the Burpwinter trial.

Lance Glint (Voiced by Ian)
Student council president at Nsburg High.

Marion (Voiced by Ian)
Member of Deep Salad.

Mephistophiles Klimpt (Voiced by Ian)
Owner and Operator of Terra Nova Customs. Despite his infernal sounding name, is completely nonthreatening.

Michael O'Leary (no relation) (Voiced by Ian)
Founder of a sanctuary from animals.

Mr. Peterson(Voiced by Ian)
Nsburg High Janitor.

Orville & Wilbur Ronk (Voiced by Beej & Ian)
Brothers and inventors. Looking to build a solar-powered wind farm in Nsburg, but haven't yet secured the funding.

Scott Jackson (Voiced by Graham)
Furniture designer and avid fly-fisher.

Dr. Slavoj Dinkwither (Voiced by Graham)
Member of the University of Chuffield's Extremophile Research Institute. Visited Nsburg to study nsberries. Would like you to mail him your poop.

Stacey (Voiced by Kathleen)
Yucatan Stan's Mountain Man Slam Can Sensory Overload Hype Van Representative.

Tom (Voiced by Kathleen)
Member of Deep Salad.

Pastor Zach Forrester (Voiced by Beej)
Pastor of Nsburg Hexacostal Church.

Other Referenced Names

BD Joe - Taxi Union Representative.

Cheryl Bernut-Poultice - Lesser Miami poet. Author of Ode to Several Raccoons I Found Lodged in my Car's Radiator One Autumn Morning and Two Dead Swans Rotting, Occasionally Turning and then Sinking into a Stagnant Pool.

Dale "The Chuzzler" Chuzzle - Professional rally-car driver and local celebrity. Competed at Dakar and Le Mans, although he lost.

Dolly Lamarr - Nsburg Blacksmith.

Frank - The Frankalid meteor shower is only visible from his roof.

Horatio Toot-Toot - Ran Captain Toot-Toot's Seafood Buffet and, briefly, the QWRP FM broadcast studio. Eventually made enough money to buy a boat and return to the sea whence he came.

Captain John Gordon - Sole member of the Nsburg Volunteer Coast Guard.

Joseppi - QWRP Janitor.

Kelsie - Had coffee with Derek before his interview with Richard Therpston, may now be dating him.

Kenneth Dalton-Spinelli - Part owner of The Libertine Submarine Limousine.

Lenny Caspersen - Sadie Casperson's husband. Doesn't like the food anywhere they go on holiday.

Lisa - Works at the Nsburg History Museum.

Melody Yum - Breakout star sideball player on the Literal Tigers. Was on fire last year, but she's out of the burn ward and ready to play.

Mirtho the Clown - A clown that promises to take you to smileville.

Rocko Dalton-Spinelli - Part owner of The Libertine Submarine Limousine.

Silus - Works at Nsburg Towne Hall. Created the Belgian Tickler.

Steve - Writer for the Nsburg Sentinel. (Not to be confused with Officer Steve)

Mayor Scratchy Boots Angry Hiss - Mayor of Nsburg from 1974 to 1976 - three Shufflecats (Raccoons) in a box.

Mayor Steno Paper Clips - Current/Former (depending on episode) Mayor of Nsburg - a box of paper clips. Has been mayor for over 9 years after the previous major died.

Mexico Rogers - Chief of the Nsburg Homeopathic Animal Control Society.

Samantha Caspersen - Sadie and Lenny Caspersen's daughter. Student at University of Jewelsburg and Finnish black metal fan.

Tasmin Funt - (Former) Nsburg city planner.

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