Qwerpline Ep04 - Harvest Festival
The fourth episode of Qwerpline! It's autumn, and time for the annual nsburg Harvest Festival! Derek is on location, and Richter is back in the skies.
Date: October 11, 2015
Editing and Graphics: Graham Stark
Illustrations: Devin "Featherweight" Harrigan
- City of Lawns!
This slogan was adopted when nsburg got its second lawn making it technically true.
Sadie Casperson reports weather will be fine fall clothing weather...
- Monday: Brisk
- Tuesday: Chilly
- Wednesday: Crisp
- Thursday: Nippy
- Friday: Nipple Shields
- Weekend: Light chance of Tornado
Sadie has entered her cat Mr. Wigglesbutt in the harvest pet show. He's in two competitions: Freestyle Fluff and the Synchronized Comb-Off.
Derek live on location part 1
Derek interviews Granton Bumper of Bumper Crops who has a radish entered in the Harvest festival large vegetable competition. After much effort it has been determined that the radish is about 1 foot wide... and would produce 43ml of juice once squeezed. Granton Bumper focuses his attention on growing one very large vegetable a year; forgoing all others.
Richter Hammockslam reports that the Shaughnessy River II has receded and Shaughnessy Highway is now dry much to his disappointment as the fan boat can no longer be used. And the famous Berbishire holes are back... And they are on the Shaughnessy. He got a real close look at them hovering a few feet above them in the traffic qwopter and claims they're same holes as before but here instead of on Highway 3. Traffic was flowing... but then someone flew a helicopter three feet above the highway...
Derek live on location part 2
Derek is amazed by the crafts available at the Harvest Festival. Lorna Schlitzwhistle has a stall... There's a stall selling chainsaw carvings made from various materials such as soapstone, bone, jade, and ivory. They fit in the palm of your hand. Ball Hinkley wasn't at his perfume stall... Finally there's a stall selling jam. Some of the jams are made from old country recipes. The Strawberry jam is made from beats... The blackberry jam is made from ash... blackberry ash... The Peach jam is made from centipedes... imported. Derek loves the peach jam.
- Derek will give live results for the annual harvest gerbil beauty pageant
- Edith Slump will attempt and (spoilers) fail to become turnip queen
- Slater-Foster Greater Roster Paternoster
"When you need to move an entire field hockey team from floor to floor. Proudly made in Gloucester." Alternatively "... Don't settle for an imposter."
- Deider's Beaters Used Cars
"Deider's beaters occupies three miles of the hard shoulder of highway 3."
- Announcer - Beej
- Big G-Money - Graham
- A-Train - Alex
- Sadie Casperson - Kathleen
- Derek - Beej
- Farmer Granton Bumper - Ian
- Richter Hammockslam -Ian
- Lorna Schlitzwhistle - Kathleen
- “Old Country” Woman - Kathleen
- Officer Steve - Ian
- The mobile broadcast van is a 1986 GMC Vandura. If you look carefully you can still see the outline of a wizard on the side.
- This is referenced in TTC 192 - Ixalan Nickname Episode for the card Dinosaur Stampede.
- In late August A-train wears nipple shields...
- Sadie Casperson has the lotto numbers because her husband is the one who pulls the balls out on TV and they are pulled out in advance for convenience.
- There's a 2hour parking limit at the Harvest Festival.
- Derek drove the van to the Harvest Festival.
- The mobile broadcast van was damaged when it was moved... without first disconnecting from the generator.
- The traditional Harvest Festival Turnip Queen is a hereditary monarchy.
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