Qwerpline Ep01 - Pot Hole Mystery
The first episode of Qwerpline! The most popular radio show on QWRP FM from scenic nsburg, Qwerpline is full of curious characters and local interests.
Date: August 30, 2015
Editing and Graphics: Graham Stark
Illustrations: Devin "Featherweight" Harrigan
"Home of the Tigers!"
First introduced in 1965 when the tigers were unveiled at the Nsburg Municipal Zoo. The tigers were returned to their owner in 1997 but the slogan is still used to this day.
All of the Highway 3 potholes, a local heritage site, have gone missing. Summer Intern Derek was sent to investigate but due to the humidity and his resulting case of swamp-eye he was only able to see 30 feet in front of him. Officer Steve of the Nsburg PD vows to pursue the case and asks vigilant Nsburgians to report any new, or old, holes directly to the department.
Also, all of the raccoons have been cleaned out of the communal pool.
Seven days of sunshine and extreme humidity (except for Friday. Friday was cancelled).
It's the Arts
New movies opening this week at the Nsburg Megaplex:
- Paul Blart 2: Mall Guy
- Furious 7
- Avengers: Age of Voltron
- Get Hard
- Jackin' It (Local Film)
Let's Go to the Phones
Ball Hinkley, local East Sumpacres organic perfumer, describes his creations.
Ball's perfumes include:
- Vanilla Muskrat
- Cap Gun
- Wet Wool
- Dust Finger
- Mixed-up Ladder (?)
- The Creep (?)
- Ray Romano
- Joss Ross' Boss Moss Floss
Delicious candy floss made from all natural sphagnum moss! It's Joss Ross' Boss Moss Floss: Try it with Sauce!
- Jack Plank's Sauna-Smoked Pork
Sauna smoked pork; it melts on your fork.
- Raymond's Talc Barn
No Rash too Moist! Just off Highway 3 past the farm with the weird looking cow.
- While generally refereed to as Episode 01 in Youtube and this wiki, the title card in the the pothole mystery http://www.youtube.com/ video (00:16s - 00:41s) is numbered as Ep00 in the video footage as well as in the https://archive.org/ Archives. However, according to an episode of LLRcast the "00" title belongs to the non-canonical Desert Bus for Hope proto-Qwerpline skit/challenge.
- Summer Intern Derek was in the Nsburg Scouts and earned his Pothole Badge by going down to Highway 3 and counting the wheels that flew off of cars.
- Celebrities are given keys to specially dedicated potholes in Nsburg.
- Earl's Bakery is right off of Highway 3 and has those doughnuts with the bacon on them.
- Nsburg is a C market for movies, albeit a high C.
- Nsburg is landlocked and has been since the 1870s.
- A-Train's High School GPA was below a C.
- A-Train spent four winters doing roadwork.
- Announcer - Beej
- Big G-Money - Graham
- A-Train - Alex
- Sadie Casperson - Kathleen
- Derek - Beej
- Officer Steve - Ian
- Edith Slump - Kathleen
- Richter Hammockslam - Ian
- Ball Hinkley - Beej