Out of Sync Transcript

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Transcript for Out of Sync

Transcript

Until otherwise noted, Graham is talking normally

{LOADING READY RUN TITLE: The music and sound effects comes in about two seconds after the titles come in}

{Scene opens in kitchen. Graham takes out a Coke can from the fridge, opens it and takes a sip. Camera pans to right as Paul enters.}

Paul: {taking off jacket and sitting behind the counter} Hey, Graham. How's it going?

Graham: {holding can over his mouth as he talks} Uh, uh good. How, how was your day?

Paul: Not bad, not bad. The hyenas didn't get into too much trouble. The giraffes got into the zebra food though, so uh... ooh, so much poo.

Graham: {holding can over his mouth as he talks} Did um Jumbo finally give birth yet?

Paul: Yeah, yeah! It's a boy. Or... may- possibly a girl. It's, elephants it's a little hard to tell.

Graham: {holding can over his mouth as he talks} That's uh, that's, that's good to hear. Um, yeah.

Paul: And you? Uh, how was your day?

Graham: {holding can over his mouth as he talks} Uh, well, I uh, I have a problem.

Paul: Well, yeah. Uh, oh, you mean aside from the thing.

Graham: {holding can over his mouth as he talks} Yeah, yeah, no. Well, uh, apart from that.

Paul: Oh.

Graham: {holding can over his mouth as he talks} Well, my morning uh started well enough...

{Scene cuts to black-and-white shot of Graham's bedroom. Graham is lying fast asleep sideways on his bed, snoring with his mouth open. Just then, his alarm clock goes and Graham rolls out of his bed, crashing to the floor and breaking something.}

Graham: Owwwwww.

{Still quite sleepy, Graham goes into his bathroom, stops in front of his mirror and yawns, but the sound of his yawn comes in five seconds after he started. He frowns as he hears it.}

Graham: {one second after saying it} Hello?

{Graham covers his mouth in shock then he blinks, rubs his eyes and takes in a breath.}

Graham: {one second later} La la la la.

{Cut back to present.}

Paul: What?

Graham: {holding can over his mouth as he talks} I'm, I'm out of sync.

Paul: You're out of sync?

{Graham lowers the can from his mouth, so we can see that the words don't follow the movement of his lips.}

Graham: {one second later} Yeah. I'm like, like a badly dubbed kung-fu movie. {raises arms in kung-fu pose} "Oh no, it's Godzilla!"

Paul: Hey, when has Godzilla ever been in a kung-fu movie?

Graham: {one second later} "Godzilla 27: The Scaly Fist".

Paul: Oh, okay, there was that one. Uh but, so then what did you do?

Graham: {one second later} Well, uh the next thing that happened was the phone rang...

{Cut back to flashback as Graham picks up the phone.}

Morgan: {over phone} Hello? Hey, is anybody-

Graham: {one second later, over Morgan} Hello?

Morgan: Oh, oh hi. Yeah, I was trying to find out about-

Graham: {one second later, over Morgan} No, no, it's um... Hello?

Morgan: Stop it. What is your problem? If you don't stop it, I'm gonna hang up.

Graham: {one second later, over Morgan} Uh yes, it's me. I have a thing.

Morgan: I'm gonna hang up now.

Graham: {one second later, over Morgan} I have- No no no, no don't!

Morgan: Fine, bye.

Graham: {one second later} No I- {gets frustrated} Aahhhh!

{Cut back to present}

Graham: {one second later} I just don't know what to do. This is, this is worse than that time I got trapped in your mirror.

Paul: So what else happened?

Graham: {one second later} Well um, I uh, {counts off on fingers} I put some pants on and came down here to get a drink, and that's where we are now.

Paul: Wait, wait. You woke up five minutes ago?

Graham: {one second later} Yeah, so? It's only... {looks at watch then frowns and looks at it from several different angles} The, the big hand is the hour hand, right?

Paul: No, no, the other one.

Graham: {one second later} Wow, time's moving REALLY quickly!

Paul: You're looking at the second hand.

Graham: {one second later} Yeah, the first hand was the big hand, that was the hour hand, and then the second one is the one that's moving quickly.

Paul: 'Kay, look. {checks his watch} It's four o'clock.

Graham: {one second later} Ohhh... {looks at watch again} Oh, wow, there's three hands! Sorry, I'm not at my best in the morning.

Paul: It's almost dinner.

Graham: {one second later} Oh, that makes way more sense. {covers face with hands} Oh my God, what am I gonna do? I can't talk to people, I can't concentrate on anything.

Paul: Hey, didn't you have to work today?

Graham: {one second later} And it's gonna get me fired!

Paul: I think you're gonna get fired 'cos you slept til four o'clock in the afternoon.

Graham: {one second later} That's not what it's gonna say in my disability paper.

Paul: Okay, look, it's not that bad when you think about it.

Graham: {one second later} Really?

Paul: It's a well-known fact that thousands of people have to deal with this affliction all over the world, and they manage okay.

Graham: {one second later} That's not a well-known fact!

Paul: Well, I know it, and I know it well, so it's a well-known fact.

Graham: {one second later} You're not helping.

Paul: Alright, alright. {brandishes remote control} I'll fix this.

Graham: {one second later, backing away nervously} Wait wait wait.

{While Graham is talking, Paul presses the remote, pausing Graham for a split-second before unpausing him again.}

Graham: {talking normally now} What are you doing? Uh, hello? A la la... How?

Paul: You weren't buffering properly, so I just stopped and started you.

Graham: Okay, that officially shouldn't have worked.

{Paul just blows down the remote like a gun he'd just fired then sits back looking smug.}

Graham: {shakes head} I'm going to bed. {picks up his can and leaves the kitchen}

Paul: {over shoulder} Don't forget to wear your helmet!