!advice

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!advice is one of the commands accepted by LRRbot in the LoadingReadyRun Streams chat, which provides incredibly useful and timely advice for whoever is currently streaming.

This is a list of all responses, current and past, that can come from the command.

Advice List

2014

Go left.
The original useful advice. Alex Steacy mentioned in an IDDQDerp stream of Dark Souls that, with the stream delay, the chat giving advice that depends on exactly when it's said, like "go left", are the most useless, as by the time he sees it he's not going to be standing in the same place or facing the same direction.
No, the other way.
Similarly useful advice with the stream delay.
Flip it turnways.
A reference to some Homestuck thing or whatever.
Try jumping.
A common piece of advice found in Dark Souls, left near cliffs by other players.
DO A BARREL ROLL!
A common Internet meme, from Star Fox 64.
USE SPACE JUMP!
From Operation: Viral Outbreak from CommodoreHUSTLE 06 - Viral.
Over there, next to the thing.
Right in front of you.
You passed it.
Turn around.
The glowy thing.
Fight harder.
More generically useful advice.
Kill him, he drops a sweet Katana.
There is a merchant in Dark Souls that, if killed, drops what is often described as a "sweet katana". Some people in chat were trying to convince Alex do do this, while Alex refused to do so ("What has he ever done to me?"). So this statement became a meme.
Shoot it until it dies.
A reference to a common Internet meme.
Run behind it, and stab it in the back.
Traditional Dark Souls tactics.
Jund 'em out.
A classic piece of advice from Friday Nights: Grand Prix Calgary.
Just git gud.
An Alexism imitating the sort of advice expected from the Internet at large.
Hit the weak spot for massive damage.
Another popular Internet meme.
Don’t blink. Blink and you’re dead.
A reference to the Doctor Who episode "Blink".
Get ye flask.
A reference to Homestar Runner.
Just dome 'em.
An Alexism during a Magic: the Gathering stream
Use the force!
A reference to Star Wars.
Try refreshing.
Refreshing the stream fixes many problems. More than it should, really.
Do a move with a triple flip and meow.
A line from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, a special requirement given to one of the NPCs during the wrestling chapter.
Watch out for the snake.
Alex's preferred way of searching for snakes in Heavy Bullets is to walk directly into the bushes and detect the snakes with his face.
GET TO THE CHOPPA!
A famous line from Predator.
Back to you, Marshall!
From Friday Nights: Speechless
Always first pick Wall of Kelp.
Favourite card of chat member Nirvana, this is a common recommendation during all draft formats where the card appears, and many where it doesn't.
Consult No-Peenor, the naked man.
From a Let's NOPE! episode featuring the game Doorways.
Stand against the devil!
Watch and pray.
From the inagural Watch+Play episode, Prayer Warriors: All Out for God
Look at the cards.
From the early (pre-LRL) Magic: the Gathering streams. In Magic Online, when an effect reveals a single card, or a couple of cards, they appear in a special "Revealed Cards" zone, but when an effect can reveal a lot of cards at once, it instead pops them up in a special window, and you get to look at them and hit OK, and they go away. Normally the prompt tells you what you're looking at, eg "Look at your opponent's hand", but when the cards are in a temporary zone (such as the cards milled by a "grind" effect in Gatecrash), the message says merely "Look at the cards", a prompt Graham enjoyed immensely. It morphed into advice given whenever someone fails to read the cards correctly, or forgets an ability, etc.
Find another way.
A message that appears when you die in a certain part of Doorways, from Let's NOPE!
0118999881999119725... 3
From The IT Crowd.
Rocketize those cubes!
From Tiny & Big in Grandpa's Leftovers, played on Crossing the Streams!
Shoot the mans with your bullets.
More generically-useful advice.
Close the door!
Generically-useful advice for survival horror games, from Let's NOPE!
It's only a funplex if it makes the honk noise.
From The Tale of the Exploding Egg Nog.
Use absolute aggression.
From Colony Wars, played on The Book of Passwords.
Perhaps we should try to avoid those tentacles.
A line from XCOM: Enemy Unknown, played on A Swiftly Tilting Cameron.
Put your helmet on, rookie.
Standard operating procedure for recruits to Cameron's XCOM squads.
Get more BP!
The only correct option when levelling up in Thousand Year Door.
Remember to save.
Generically-actually-useful advice.
Use the rubber foot on a chain.
A reference to a classic tale of Alex's, told in Facebook Girlfriend.
Never underestimate the runners!
Don't challenge the chat.
Adam was planning to do a 24-hour stream for Adam's Gamehaüs, but then offered to add time if he got more Twitter followers... he ended up on the hook for a 43-hour stream (of which he delivered 35 hours). Never challenge the chat.
Push the buttons.
More generically-useful advice.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer.
A quote from Dune.
It's ok, Big Bird's got you now.
A quote from Third Wheel Dating.
Green, blue, THEN red.
Chanted during a particularly devious timed-jumping puzzle in Rockman 4: Minus Infinity, played on The Book of Passwords.
Use God Hand!
Referring to the titular ability of God Hand, played on The Book of Passwords.
Poke its nose!
During Five Nights at Freddy's (on Let's NOPE!), chat was insistent that Alex see an Easter egg by clicking on the nose of a character on a poster. Very insistent.
Avoid hitting police cars.
Advice given ingame during Unearthed: Trail of Ibn Battuta, played on Watch+Play.
Wake up to prevent them from invading Earth!!
Let's attack them again or run away?
Quotes from the inimitable Hippocampal, played on Watch+Play.
Adjust the gamma.
It's quite bright in the streaming office, with all the studio lights, which can make it hard to see what's onscreen with dark games. Adjusting the game's brightness and/or gamma settings is often necessary to see.
Have you tried cutting off the limbs?
In reference to Dead Space, played on Adam's Gamehaüs.
Should have Become Immense!
In reference to the Magic: the Gathering card.
Now you take that PSI CORE there...
An unnecessarily-repeated line from Psychonauts, played on Things on my Stream.
Always be prepared, Speak Softly and drive a sherman tank
Carve it into your soul
Giga Drill Break
Pudding.
All quotes from Hatoful Boyfriend, played on Crossing the Streams.
Hit them in the crack!
Advice for Alone in the Dark, played on Let's NOPE!
This Network Node is already linked to an artifact.
A unnecessarily-repeated line from Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, played on A Swiftly Tilting Cameron
Food is not health.
While playing Civilization: Beyond Earth on A Swiftly Tilting Cameron, Cam noticed that his Health was low, and then started gathering more Food... chat misunderstood this to mean that Cam thought Food and Health were the same, and several people pointed out the difference at once, which became a meme.
Get the guitar back!
In reference to the Black Velvetopia level of Psychonauts, played on Things on my Stream.
Punch yourself in the face repeatedly until you pass out.
Classic advice by Morgan at the first Desert Bus for Hope, and the origin of the "Dear Dr. Whoever" meme.
The fire is hot.
A reference to the Futurama episode "The Day the Earth Stood Stupid", quoted when Alex touched the fire in Amnesia: The Dark Descent on Let's NOPE!
Press F to pay respects.
Press emoticon-7662-src-9ab02b21e4c87f7c-28x28.png to pay respects.
A famous onscreen prompt in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare.
There's no way out through the ceiling.
A line by the main character in The Walking Dead, played on Adam's Gamehaüs.
Press Prnt Scrn to jump off the cable.
Alone in the Dark has some truly bizarre default control mappings.
Blink to clear blood from your eyes.
Actual onscreen instructions from Alone in the Dark, which had manual blinking controls.
Go in from behind!
Entirely non-suss discussion between the players during Crossing the Streams.
Release your tongue.
Goat Simulator is a weird game.
Don't call your shop "Lube 'n' Go" if you want to get shoppers.
Playing SimCity (2013) on Kathleen Saves the World, Kathleen discovered a shop called "Lube 'n' Go" that had been abandoned for a lack of customers.
Get a data!
Some poor grammar in S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat, played on IDDQDerp.
We need to move.
We need to get down there.
We should get out of here.
Unhelpful ingame advice in The Evil Within, played on Let's NOPE!
Don't drown.
An objective near the end of Psychonauts.
Try standing closer to the sky.
In Loom (played on Things on my Stream), attempting to Open the sky prompts a response that you're not "close enough".
Don't go in there! That's a bad place! That's a bad place for bunnies!
Don't run or else Daddy's gonna kill ya!
Quotes from Psychonauts.
Kill the two-headed Dad monster!
Another ingame objective from Psychonauts.
Guess Brazil!
Playing GeoGuessr, they went through a period where they got a lot of results in Brazil, to the point where snap-guessing Brazil when it wasn't immediately obvious was a reasonable strategy.
Make it on fire.
Reasonable strategic advice for Alone in the Dark, and generally in life.
There's still a delay.
Someone said something onstream, and someone in chat took that to mean they thought the stream delay was gone, and attempted to helpfully remind them. This quickly became a mini-meme in the chat.
Go live in the woods.
In reference to Fugi's segment of Desert Bus Opening Titles.
I could rhyme / if I tried / I just don't have the inclination
In reference to the rhyming in Child of Light
Remember: Swords.
Playing a Magic: the Gathering cube draft with two swords in the deck, they occasionally forgot to re-equip the swords onto other creatures, leading to this reminder.
Perrrrrrrrrrrrfect!
A very repetitive sound clip from I.Q.: Intelligent Qube, played on House of Stark.
Just jam it in there.
???
Annihilate what threatens to destroy you.
Ingame advice in Alice: Madness Returns, played on IDDQDerp.
Hit it in the... you know... thing.
In Bound by Flame, played on GPLP, a game with lots of gratuitous swearing in dialogue, has a character comments that some suspiciously-vulva-shaped enemies "look like... you know... things".
Mash R1.
R1 is the light-attack button in Dark Souls, and mashing that button in an attempt to stun-lock enemies (and hope they die before you run out of stamina) is one of Cam's primary strategies while playing the game ("Easiest game I've ever played").
Cause mayhem.
An objective in Saints Row IV.
The coin makes you faster.
Chat attempting to give the players advice for Mario Kart 8.
More Rockets!
Good general-purpose advice for Kerbal Space Program.

2015

I'm drunk. I'm very very drunk.
A badly-voiced line from One Day For Ched, played on Watch+Play.
You passed the gun.
Playing Black Soul: Extended Edition on Watch+Play, someone in the chat was very adamant that Alex had passed a gun earlier in the game. After much backtracking and exploring, it eventually became clear that they had, in fact, not missed a gun, and the person in the chat was confused by an earlier chapter of the game with a different protagonist.
Look both ways before doing drugs.
Said by Ian in the LRR Destiny voice chat (offstream), while discussing terrible 90s TV PSAs.
Hide for a while.
Ingame instructions in Chasm: The Rift (played on IDDQDerp), immediately before locking the player in a killbox with a giant monster.
Don't call Santa "gentle guy".
One of commonly-used the distorted-demonic-voice clips in Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem (played on Let's NOPE!) sounds kinda like "You called Santa 'gentle guy'".
You need to stop playing video games!
In Obscure II (played on Let's NOPE!), you can hit your teammates with your weapons. Alex did this several times, accidentally (at first). When you do this as the "computer hacker" character, this line is how your teammate responds.
Do not break the nose.
During a stream of IDDQDerp, during a commercial break, a commercial was played on the streaming computer and the audio got picked up and broadcast on the stream. The ad was an infomercial for some kind of plastic surgery, and involved a plastic surgeon talking about different nose-job techniques. This is a quote from there.
Serve delicious curry!
This is the ingame description of one of the weapons in Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow (played on IDDQDerp).
Turn off the mic.
Occasionally the host will forget to mute the mic when going on commercial break or ending the stream, resulting in potentially-unwanted statements being broadcast to the Internet.
No teeth-cuddling.
Playing Far Cry 4 on Things on my Stream, Paul is beset by wolves. He is assured by chat that they only wanted to cuddle. Paul is less than enthused by being cuddled by their teeth. This quote is apparently one of Paul's number-one rules.
Get on up!
One of the primary immediate goals in I Am Bread.
Use the oxygen dispensers located on the walls.
This instruction is repeated multiple times to the player in the first level of Alpha Prime, played on Watch+Play.
Pick hammer.
When collecting an item in Alpha Prime, the word "up" is missing from the sentence "You picked hammer". Picking hammer does seem to be optimal in most circumstances.
Select a tour.
The streamers left Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed at this menu while on commercial break during Crossing the Streams, and this instruction was voiced repeatedly by the game.
Why don't you try and talk to the jewelry?
Talk to a certain door to get you into the room.
Listen to what the cat says.
Suggestions made by characters ingame in Soul Blazer, played on Things On my Stream. They made... some amount of sense in context.
Stay focused.
Many sticky notes with this helpful instruction appear on the walls in Verde Station, played on IDDQDerp.
Bask in the silence.
One of the options for a question in the psych test in Verde Station.
Press the B Button to save the Space Children.
Important instructions in Space Channel 5, played on I, Horner.
Try pointing at it.
In Resident Evil: Revelations 2, the sidekick characters have a way to find hidden items. One character has a flashlight they can shine into dark corners to find things, but the other character simply points at things to find them.
Not there!
Helpful directions given by a companion in Resident Evil: Revelations 2.
Try to avoid being gruesomely killed.
Ingame advice from a character in Star Control II The Ur'Quan Masters, played on Things on my Stream
Physically enter the onion.
During Pikmin 2 (played on Beej's Backlog) someone in chat mentioned that "you have to give them time to physically enter the onion". Beej requested this be added to !advice so everyone else would be confused by advice from his games, for once.
You'll need all four reindeer to take off.
Your hat's on backwards!
Ingame lines from Spud!, played on Watch+Play.
Burn a gnome on this.
A request from Graham to Alex while he was playing Spud!.
Let the cat attack you to regain health.
In Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (played on IDDQDerp), there is an item that causes you to gain health when attacked by cats.
Flunge!
A term from fencing, "flunge" was coined for LRRMtG to refer to a situation where you attack with all your creatures without running the numbers to check if the attack is lethal, or if attacking is even a good idea... the term spread to the other games on other streams to generally refer to any reflexive aggressive action by the player without properly thinking through the consequences.
A thing exists.
It's getting closer!
In Resident Evil: Revelations 2, there are some invisible enemies that only your sidekick can see. At one point the sidekick started yelling "it's getting closer!" as one approached, which Graham thought was odd, would it not be more useful to yell that the enemy exists first, and then yell that it's approaching second?
Believe in the chat, which believes in you!
Important motivational message. A quote from chat trying to cheer up Cam playing Bloodborne.
Believe your Justice.
From the opening sequence of Metal Wolf Chaos, played on I, Horner.
Stay on the Bomps.
Instructions for a minigame in Mario Party 10, played on Crossing the Streams. ("Bomp" is apparently the name for these things...)
Reach into the pig and pull out its colon.
The result of doing a "visceral attack" on the giant pig in Bloodborne, played on every stream forever.
Go spelunking in the Forbidden Pig.
Cam's description of the aforementioned pig-colon attack.
Don't leave your watch inside a pig.
Something to be careful of when attempting the above.
Punch all the fire.
Beej's strategy for dealing with fire-based hazards in Pikmin 2.
Don't swallow the trampoline.
Important strategy when moving trampolines around via Yoshi in Super Mario World, played on Heather's Handhelds.
Circus Stab
The name of one of the combo attacks NecroVisioN, played on Watch+Play, which involves throwing a bayonet (or, failing that, a shovel) at your enemy in the style of a circus knife-thrower.
Don't die, don't die, don't die, oh please don't die
Adam's reaction to being surprised by an enemy in Bloodborne.
Do you have an anti-matter bomb?
One of the end-game prerequisites in The Ur'Quan Masters, played on Things on my Stream.
Slam 'em in the door!
A reaction by Alex to an encounter in Killing Floor 2, played on IDDQDerp, which saw a number of zombies getting stuck in a choke point by an automatic door.
Be rude.
One of the conversation options in The Quivering, played on Watch+Play.
Get down to the point.
From the theme song behind the trailer for The Quivering.
Uninstall The Quivering.
The only reasonable response to The Quivering.
Retrieve a waifu from the shadow world.
Largely the objective of Spirit Camera, played on Let's NOPE!
Visit the ramen doctor at the secret ramen base.
In The World Ends With You, played on Heather's Handhelds, there is a character who tells you to meet "the Doc" at a ramen shop, where they have a secret base. Your character is slightly incredulous.
Beat him to a pulp.
Ingame advice during a briefing from your assistant in Metal Wolf Chaos.
Plug it directly into the reactor.
James was having trouble getting enough power into one of the particularly power-hungry devices in a game of modded Minecraft. This was the solution.
Blood is supposed to be on the inside.
While this is typically one's goal, as Paul pointed out during Mortal Kombat X (played on GPLP) this isn't always the case.
Blame the yarn.
This strategy didn't work out well for Meta Knight in Kirby's Epic Yarn (played on Things on my Stream) but maybe it will work better for you.
Grab hold of the shockwave.
The Meta Knight battle in Kirby's Epic Yarn consists of grabbing the shockwave blasts from when he swings his sword, and throwing them back at him.
Call in the blimp.
As a preorder bonus in Grand Theft Auto V, played on House of Stark, your character has a blimp service they can call for at any time.
Hold your anoos strong.
Instruction from a yoga instructor in Grand Theft Auto V.
You can shoot the sword.
Chat's advice to Cam during a challenging boss fight in Bloodborne.
Secrets in the well.
Balloon makes the bubble bigger.
Ingame hints in Milon's Secret Castle, played on I, Horner.
Kiss the glove.
In Milon's Secret Castle there is a boxing glove that you can let hit you to become small and fit into tight passages. This was chat's description of the process.
Make an audio log and drop it somewhere.
According to chat, this is advice that everyone seems to follow in System Shock 2, played on Let's NOPE!
Mush the bag.
From Phailhaüs - 27.
Tickle the yak.
Besiege, played on Crossing the Streams, includes yaks with bombs strapped to their backs. It's important to be gentle with them, lest the bombs explode.
Give her the dead bluebird of happiness.
The dead Bluebird of Happiness is a quest item for a sidequest in Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean, played on Beej's Backlog
There's always a mattock in the bottom of the snake pit.
Advice from chat for Spelunky, played on IDDQDerp.
Sell your Fruit stocks.
An in-game suggestion in Grand Theft Auto V, played on House of Stark.
Helps to have a map.
The only line spoken by one of the guard NPCs in Guise of the Wolf, played on Watch+Play.
Avoid the other sperm.
Apparently the key to an early level of Deus Ex Machina 2, played on Watch+Play
Keep smiling!
A command on one of the many propaganda-covered posters in a level of Deus Ex Machina 2.
Be ready to catch the thing.
When playing the cooperative mode of Portal 2, as was played on Crossing the Streams, it's important to co-ordinate with your partner.
Press E to sneeze.
A command in The Exhibit, played (by its creator) on IDDQDerp.
Invert the spoon.
A piece of advice from one of the clips on the montage parodies soundboard, popular on Adam's Gamehaüs.
Do not taunt the Happy Fun Turret.
While playing Portal 2, on Things on my Stream, a turret was coated in blue "bounce" gel, causing it to bounce around the room while shooting, prompting this reference to the "Happy Fun Ball" sketch.
Do not goo the cube.
Advice from the chat while Paul was playing Portal 2.
Hit the butt.
At the end of an LRRMtG stream, James told Cam to "hit the button" to mute the stream. This is how much got through before the stream was muted.
Use more explosives than God.
Ingame advice in Red Faction: Guerrilla, played on IDDQDerp.
Go in the vent.
An ingame instruction in Half-Life: Azure Sheep, played on IDDQDerp, but applicable to so very many games.
Never give Alex a pipe.
A truism observed in chat after Alex received a pipe as a weapon in Half-Life: Azure Sheep.
Paint everything.
As observed by Paul, an appropriate first attempt at a strategy when a puzzle involving gels comes up in Portal 2.
Run faster with a knife.
Actual strategy in Serious Sam HD, played on Video Games with Video James; merely solid life advice elsewhere.
Eat eggs, not bombs.
Heather's advice for Kirby's Adventure, played on Beej's Backlog.
Throw your face at enemies.
This is an accurate description of the cutter attack in Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards, played on Beej's Backlog.
If you see the monkey, start running.
Chat's prostrats for Kirby's Return to Dream Land, played on Beej's Backlog.
You have to ride the wind, not fight it.
Advice from the Little Lady Hosk about a challenging part of Kirby's Epic Yarn, played on Things on my Stream.
Always assume that it will explode.
Good advice for pretty much anything in Rocket League (played on Video Games with Video James), and also generally in life.
Fireball goes in every slot.
Alex's preferred loadout for Time Ramesside (A New Reckoning), on Watch+Play.
There is only so many holes.
An observation by Beej during a hole-based musical-chairs-style minigame in Mario Party 9, on Crossing the Streams.
Intel says that he is weak against explosions.
???
Mash L2.
While playing Bloodborne on A Swiftly Tilting Cameron, Cam discovers that the attack pattern from pressing L2 is very effective at hitting a particular boss's weak spot, thus making it the "advanced strat" compared to the "Mash R1" strat.
Eat your greens.
Ingame instruction in Undertale, played on IDDQDerp.
You can jump through the chain.
Heavily repeated advice from many people, about the chain chomps in Super Mario Maker, played on Crossing the Streams.
Jump from the donut.
Jumping from a falling donut block was necessary to get through a puzzle in a Super Mario Maker level, on GPLP.
Stay in school.
Important life advice dispensed by James while bored digging a long staircase in Minecraft.
Fix the merch booth.
Chat directions during Brütal Legend, played on Things on my Stream.
Enter the painting.
An ingame action prompt in Dishonored: The Brigmore Witches, played on IDDQDerp.
Avoid the Pew Pews.
Good generically-useful advice, but especially for when James is playing Star Wars Battlefront.
Don't drink the bleach liquid.
General life advice from Paul, after misprounoucing the Leech Liquid potion in Shovel Knight: Plague of Shadows, on GPLP.
Pepsi for TV-Game!
The only line in a cutscene in Pepsi Man, played on Watch+Play.
Just don't fall in the laser.
Advice for Alex by Ben, while playing Twin Sector, on Watch+Play.
Turn off the "Lance Boyle" option.
The only way one could stand to play Mega Race, as played on Watch+Play.
Assume the ground is spikes unless proven otherwise.
Paul's strategy for Shovel Knight, played on GPLP.
Do it (defecate).
Description of a command for your horse in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, played on House of Stark.
Perform this dare in a bus.
Ingame instructions in Driver: San Fransisco, played on I, Horner.
To remove blood from mouth, rinse thoroughly with water.
Instructions on a packet of fake blood, read by Graham in Loading Time - Professional Stabbists.
Touch the chicken, not the man.
Heather's phrasing of the solution to a puzzle in Rhythm Thief & The Emperor's Treasure, on Heather's Handhelds.
Always talk to the Mexican.
The lesson Ian took from another puzzle in Rhythm Thief & The Emperor's Treasure.
Don't override your sphincter.
Health education from Graham and Paul, during GPLP.
Touch the defeated ghost.
Ingame instruction in Fatal Frame: Maiden of Black Water, played on Let's NOPE!
Everyone Rabbit!
Mysterious lyric at the start of one of the songs in Rhythm Thief & The Emperor's Treasure.
Go left, 30 seconds ago
Significantly more useful than the traditional "Go left".
Don't count the toilet as a customer.
While playing Cook, Serve, Delicious, on Crossing the Streams, it was initially unclear whether the chores, including flushing the toilet, counted towards the customer combo chain.
Use Ⓛ to reach for your face.
Ingame instruction in Murdered: Soul Suspect, played on GPLP.

2016

When your money is negative, your Happy Points will slowly disappear.
Participating is the all-important first step.
Vital life advice dispensed from Animal Crossing: Amiibo Festival, played on Crossing the Streams
Scan the baby.
During a Magic stream on AFK, there was an attempt to put Penelope under the card-viewer scanner.
Climb the ghosts.
An important step in beating one level in Super Mario Sunshine, played on Beej's Backlog.
Borrow the helicopter, and leave a little note.
This is the plan of one of the NPCs in Murdered: Soul Suspect (played on GPLP), according to a line they think to themselves and you happen to overhear.
Possess the cat.
The good part of Murdered: Soul Suspect.
Romance the washing machine.
Ian's suggestion on finding a large white box (which Alex thought was a washing machine) in The Witness, played on I, Horner.
Remember, always be kind to your pets.
In-game advice in Super Mario Sunshine, played on Beej's Backlog.
Cowards can't block Warriors.
Possibly the greatest ability text in Magic: the Gathering, appearing on Boldwyr Intimidator.
Don't skip brain day.
The sectoids in XCOM 2 (played on A Swiftly Tilting Cameron) certainly don't.
Don't breathe beer.
Cam had to cough while drinking from his beer, resulting in him ignoring this vital piece of advice.
Don't die in here.
Advice from chat, that dying in a particular place in Rise of the Tomb Raider (played on Adam's Gamehaüs) would break the puzzle.
Never undertip the Sandwich Murloc.
Graham's advice from PAX South 2016 - LoadingReadyRun Panel, while room-writing Crapshots Ep.326 - The Switch.
Water the sun.
This is how a walkthrough phrased the instructions for getting a shine sprite in Super Mario Sunshine, which involves shooting water directly at the sun.
Don't get fisted.
One of the bosses in Pony Island, played on Beej(less) Backlog, punches the air above you (to catch you if you jump at the wrong time). This was Cori's advice on seeing that move.
When you're going through Hell, keep going.
Beej's strategy playing Super Mario Maker (on Beej's Backlog), while underwater, being chased by half a dozen swimming aggro wrigglers.
If you can't solve a problem, just ram headlong into it.
Advice on a note from the mayor, in The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap, played on Things on my Stream.
Neurotoxin isn't going to work on a robot.
Paul's reaction to Graham trying to use a neurotoxin weapon on a security robot, in Deux Ex: Invisible War, on GPLP.
Got a face? Avoid touching it.
A Dave's Spokesman instruction on dealing with the virus in The Division, played on Crossing the Streams.
Try being on fire.
Paul managed to beat a tough timing puzzle in The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap (on Things on my Stream) by catching on fire, as it makes you run faster (if less controllably).
Talk to Gary.
In Deus Ex: Invisible War (played on GPLP), there is an alien gray, called (appropriately) Gray. Paul initially misread this as "Gary".
Do not shit in your gas tank.
Ian's interpretation of a scene in PaRappa the Rapper, played on Rhythm Tuesday.
Avoid the flashing squares
Good general strategic advice, but also specifically for Hyper Light Drifter, played on Video Games with Video James.
Don't help the jihadist caliphate in Belgium.
???
Knees aren't meant to bend sideways.
An ingame instruction in Virtual Knee Surgery, played on I, Horner.
Light a fire in your crotch.
Cam's interperetation of using an ember in Dark Souls III (played on A Swiftly Tilting Cameron), which left his pants looking like they were on fire.
Monsters won't hurt girls in cute dresses.
Ingame advice in Fairune, played on Beej(less) Backlog.
Rotate the cat.
An important step in the process of washing your cat in I Love My Cats, played on Beej(less) Backlog.
Come closer to start me.
Ingame instruction if you try to start a mission from too far away, in Scribblenauts Unlimited, played on GPLP.
You also need a zither.
After beating a level in Scribblenauts Unlimited, someone in chat tried to say all the items they'd used, as "all you need is {list of silly things}". Paul corrected that they had missed an obvious item.
Pet the lonely cockroach.
???
Make sure you're drilling in the right direction.
Ian found drilling a hole in the kegerator on Tinker Tailor Solder Fry a lot easier when he switched the drill to turn in the correct direction.
Pick up the moon.
There was a moon-shaped key in Feelings Adrift (played on Watch+Play) which Alex didn't realise was a collectible. This is how chat informed him he needed to go back and collect it.
Click here in the symbols.
Ingame instructions in Feelings Adrift.
Peck his ass!
Alex's enthusastic cheering on of Serge during Gang Beasts (played on Crossing the Streams), wearing the chicken suit and headbutting everyone.
Dwarf it.
An instruction on the RoboRosewater card Fallather Drudes.
Upgrade Resistance.
The decision of what should be upgraded, upon finding a campfire in Dear Esther (on Talking Simulator), and treating it as a Dark Souls bonfire.
Make many changes, before settling satisfactorily.
A terrible fortune cookie opened by Graham, during the preshow for Checkpoint Plus.
YOU GOT WE
Just before a terrible jump scare in Inside: Before Birth (played on Watch+Play), the words "WE GOT YOU" appeared across three different windows. Alex read them in reverse order.
Grip the base and just shake it.
Ingame instructions for a minigame in Mario Party 8, played on Crossing the Streams.
Version up your spouse.
One of the many unusual sentences that has to be typed in Typing of the Dead, played on Matters of Import.
Don't punch the fire box.
Heather's advice to Beej during Super Smash Bros Wii U, played on Crossing the Streams.
Beware the black rainbow.
An ingame caution in Etin, Cam's D&D campaign, played on AFK.
Spend quality time with your possessions.
???
Eat less shorts.
In Trials of the Blood Dragon (played on NewDay TewsDay), one of the death taunts is "you ate shorts". This was chat's advice after seeing it.
Dance like nobody's eating.
While playing Quiplash (on Crossing the Streams), in response to the prompt "The worst mistake you could make while streaming on Twitch.tv", Beej meant to type "Dance like nobody's watching", but had a typo and decided to roll with it.
Be ethically opposed to jumping.
After failing a minigame in Rhythm Heaven: Megamix (played on Rhythm Cafe), the game's response is "Are you ethically opposed to jumping?"
Revive from swoon.
In Magic Knight Rayearth (played on Matters of Import), if a character loses all they HP, they "swoon". This is the description of the item that brings characters back from the dead swoondom.
Vent the gas!
An important step for one of the bomb modules in Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes, played on Crossing the Streams.
You can't leave without your buddy Superfly.
The response ingame if you try to leave the level without your sidekick in Daikatana, played on Watch+Play.
Don't be a James.
During the Eldritch Moon PrePreRelease, this was Serge's official judge ruling to the Professor attempting a bribe.
Hey! You can do!
Inspirational quote from the cheerleaders in Rhythm Heaven: Megamix.
Don't forget about Dre.
Important life advice, courtesy of the song Forgot About Dre – Dr. Dre ft. Eminem.
Check your noodle.
Advice from Graham while commentating the Pool Noodle Javelin event of the 2016 Lunar Invitational We Hastily Thought of This Last Night Games, presented by LoadingReadyLIVE.
Give high docking
While playing No Man's Sky (on NewDay TewsDay), the first words Graham learned of the Gek language were "give", "high" and "docking", in that order.
Steal a dog.
From an anecdote told by Graham in I Stole a Dog.
Visit Death.
This is an option available to you in GoNNER, played on Let's NOPE!
Use the Love Saw!
While playing Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime on Crossing the Streams, this was chat's description of one of the upgrades, a giant spinning buzzsaw that revolved around the player's love-spreading-and-powered spaceship.
Moving around without seeing where you are going can be dangerous.
???
You must convert taxmen back into entertainers.
From some text automatically generated based on the Civilisation manual. Read during Desert Bus X.
Hit it with the brick.
During the Ken Steacy Power Hours on Desert Bus X, Ken decided to test the running joke that he could auction off a brick and it would make money. Alex got roped in to demonstrate a survival technique of opening a can by grinding the lif off against a brick, which proved to take a lot longer than anticipated. It was generally agreed that simply hitting the can with the brick would be more effective.
Press G to brain.
In Antihorror (played on Watch+Play) there is a mechanic where pressing G gives you a hint to your current objective, displayed ingame as "Press [G] to [brain icon]".
Try grabbing the pelvis.
A valid strategy in Osteotic Bypass (a game that involves skeleton manipulation), played on Watch+Play.
Save your piss.
Crypt Worlds, played on Watch+Play, has a mechanic for pissing on things, and your urine meter is a resource you need to manage.
You need to wait for the metronome.
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, played on Adam's Gamehaüs, includes a rhythm element that Adam was thoroughly confused by. This was chat's helpful suggestion.
Ponder your fists!
Important advice that Ryu receives from his mentor, in Street Fighter V, played on 18 Games and Counting.
Hit the hole!
Ingame instruction in Nightmare 2, played on AFK.
Keep yourself in the Molotov Range.
Cori's strategy for the Flappy Toaster minigame in Frog Fractions 2, played on Watch+Play.

2017

Dank memes can be beige.
From the commodoreHUSTLE episode Workplace.
Escape the cheesecake.
???
Go around the lasers, not into them.
Relevant advice in Clustertruck, as in many situations in life.
Eat all foods before bouncing nose.
Bounce the baseballs with your face.
Ingame instructions in Snacks'n'Jackson, played on Watch+Play.
Avoid the Beej Cold.
Heather was unable to make it to a Rhythm Cafe due to failing to follow this advice; Molly Lewis brought it up as a concern while playing Clapper.
Don't blame the controller, blame the avatar.
Ian's advice while Molly Lewis was having difficulty in Melody's Escape, on Rhythm Cafe.
Gently caress the door.
Alex's description of an animation when interacting with a locked door in Resident Evil 7: Biohazard on Newday Tewsday.
Make amazing things.
The motto of the build-your-own-underwear craft kits from Heather's mystery box for Creative on 18 Games and Counting.
Decrease the maggot count.
An option for this would be Paul's preference, in a discussion of different gore levels in different versions of Resident Evil 7 in the aftershow of Checkpoint Plus.
Do not look directly at Mom.
It would be unwise to do so, in Hidden My Game By Mom, played on Matters of Import.
Leave your death in the hands of others.
A supposedly-patriotic slogan in Detention, played on Let's NOPE!
Try uncrashing it.
Ian's plan of attack after Gang Beasts crashed during Crossing the Streams.
Move your arms in the air like a gorilla.
Ingame instructions for a minigame in 1, 2, Switch.
Drinking Beer makes you tougher.
Ingame tip in Duke Nukem Forever, as discussed on Talking Simulator.
Never do a puzzle in zero gravity.
A lesson learned by James and Paul when experimenting with Tabletop Simulator on 18 Games & Counting.
Walk around the fire.
Graham discovers this secret technique for navigating a burning house, in Running Start Ep01 - The First Templar.
Press X to pump the dog.
In The First Templar, when attacked by a dog, you get a quick-time event telling you to "pump X" to escape. The ingame animations are rather suggestive.
Just get nude.
A line from a character in Oikospiel Book, played on Watch+Play. It made... a quantity of sense in context.
Don't ever explain yourself to the chat.
Beej's advice to Ben during the Co-op Speech-Jammed Lego Building segment of LoadingReadyLIVE.
Obey your instructions.
An ingame objective in Persona 5, as played on 18 Games and Counting.
Be less on fire
???
USE SAFETY GUARDS
Extremely prominent advice on a knife sharpener used on Tinker Tailor Solder Fry.
Remove human skin.
???
Don't put off paying your taxes.
Ingame advice from one of the bank tellers in Takeshi's Challenge, played on Matters of Import.
Now attack with a gun.
When switching weapons in Takeshi's Challenge, the onscreen message reads "now attack with a [weapon]".
COMPLY
In The Surge, played on Adam's Gamehaüs, the weapon that drops from the first boss has this printed on the side.
Stop getting hit by everything.
Adam's suggestion to himself while playing The Surge.
Have you tried just shouting at it?
In RiME, played on NewDay Tewsday, the main character's primary method of interacting with the world is by shouting at things.
Either pull harder or cut it off.
During a build on Tinker Tailor Solder Fry, both Ian and Ben Soileau were having trouble disassembling things, and these were their respective solutions.
Trust the Bens.
Both Ben Soileau and Bengineering were in an episode of Tinker Tailor Solder Fry, and this was Ian's conclusion when the two agreed on a point.
Box box box.
The instructions given by the engineer in Project CARS, played for 24 Hours of LRR Mans, when pulling into the pit. By all accounts this is a real thing that they actually say in real races, but without context it was baffling to Ian, and to the chat.
Hack into yourself and eliminate the virus.
An ingame instruction in Nier: Automata, played on Talking Simulator.
Being alive is pretty much a constant stream of embarrassment.
From Nier: Automata, the first impression of life, from one of the newly-sentient pods.
Adjust the compressor.
Generally good advice, especially when trying to audio balance Bengineering and Cameron, as happened during the LoadingReadyLAN stream on Crossing the Streams.
Make an honest moral inventory of yourself.
Advice offered by a nurse robot in Quadrilateral Cowboy, played on Talking Simulator.
Learn many!
From an ingame billboard in Skylight Freerange, played on Watch+Play:
LEARN MANY!

ADVANCE YOUR
CAREER FUTURE AT:

THE STANLEY TANER
UNIVERSE OF
LEARNING ACADEMIAS
Lag happens.
After losing a match of PLAYERUNKNOWN'S BATTLEGROUNDS to some particularly poorly-timed lag, this was Cam's takeaway.
Stab it in the deadly lasers.
Brought up by Paul as being a not-immediately-obvious tactic, in Running Start Ep11 - NieR: Automata.